The Tain Bo Cuailnge

The Pillow Talk

It began with a quarrel between lovers. Queen Medb of Connacht and her husband Ailill lay in bed comparing their wealth, and they found themselves perfectly matched in every category but one. Ailill possessed Finnbhennach, the White-Horned Bull, which had been born to Medb's herd but had refused to be owned by a woman and joined Ailill's cattle instead.

To match this bull, Medb needed the only creature in Ireland that was its equal: Donn Cuailnge, the Brown Bull of Cooley, which belonged to Daire of Ulster. She sent messengers to negotiate for its loan, and Daire agreed, but that night her envoys grew drunk and boastful, claiming they would have taken the bull by force if refused. Daire withdrew his offer, and Medb raised the armies of Connacht for war.

For a bull, Ireland would burn. For wounded pride, the finest warriors of a generation would die at the fords. Such is the price of kings and queens who will not yield.

The Curse of Macha

Medb could not have chosen a better time to invade. The warriors of Ulster lay helpless in their beds, struck down by the curse of Macha. Years before, the goddess had been forced to race against horses while pregnant, and when she won, she cursed the men of Ulster to suffer labor pains in their time of greatest need.

Only one warrior was exempt: Cu Chulainn, the Hound of Culann, seventeen years old and the greatest champion Ireland had ever produced. Son of the god Lugh, trained by the warrior-woman Scathach, bound by sacred geasa, Cu Chulainn stood alone between Medb's armies and Ulster.

The Combats at the Ford

Cu Chulainn invoked the ancient right of single combat. Each day, one champion from Connacht would face him at the ford, and while the duel lasted, the army could not advance. Day after day, Medb sent her finest warriors, and day after day, Cu Chulainn cut them down.

He fought without rest, sleeping in snatches, tended only by his charioteer Laeg. His wounds multiplied, but he would not yield. When Medb sent twenty warriors at once, violating the rules of single combat, Cu Chulainn killed them all. When she sent supernatural champions, he matched them. The fords of Ireland ran red with blood.

The warp-spasm came upon Cu Chulainn, and he was transformed into a monstrous thing. His body shook, his muscles knotted, one eye sank into his skull while the other bulged out. A hero-light rose from his brow, and in his battle-frenzy, he knew neither friend nor foe.

The Morrigan, goddess of war, came to him in three forms, as an eel, a wolf, and a heifer, each time hindering his combat. Yet still he fought, wounded and exhausted, holding the ford alone.

The Death of Ferdia

Medb's cruelest stroke was to send Ferdia, Cu Chulainn's foster-brother. They had trained together under Scathach, sworn oaths of brotherhood, loved each other as only warriors could. But Ferdia was bound by his own honor to fight for Connacht.

For three days and three nights, the two brothers fought at the ford. Each evening, they would share food and medicine, their charioteers tending them side by side. Each morning, they would resume their battle to the death.

On the fourth day, Cu Chulainn used the gae bolga, a barbed spear that entered the body as one point and opened into thirty, which could only be used with the foot in flowing water. He drove it into Ferdia's body, and as his foster-brother died in his arms, Cu Chulainn collapsed in grief.

"Had Ferdia lived," he lamented, "we would have conquered the world together."

The End of the Raid

At last, the curse of Macha lifted, and the warriors of Ulster rose from their beds. King Conchobar led his army to meet Medb's forces, and the final battle was terrible. Cu Chulainn, wounds upon wounds, fought on despite everything.

The Brown Bull of Cooley was taken to Connacht, where it met the White-Horned Bull. The two beasts fought across all of Ireland, their battle lasting a day and a night, until Donn Cuailnge killed its rival. But the Brown Bull, mortally wounded, wandered back toward Ulster, its entrails trailing behind it, dropping pieces of Finnbhennach across the countryside before it too died of its wounds.

Medb's war had gained her nothing. Her finest champions were dead, her armies broken, and the bulls that had started it all had destroyed each other. Cu Chulainn had held the ford alone, but the cost had been beyond measuring, and the feud between Connacht and Ulster would not end for generations.